the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
