I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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