Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
