But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
