the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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