That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
