I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The maid of honor just puked.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
