I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
