you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
