we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
worst night to have a conscience
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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