sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
