wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
