grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
