I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
