I want to stick my p in your. b.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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