Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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