On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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