3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
