i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
