As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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