Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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