HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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