my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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