my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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