He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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