Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
