dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
