do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
