If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
