So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
