There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
