You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
