she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
