he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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