The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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