i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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