it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
