Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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