just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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