My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
