He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
