My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
