I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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