I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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