a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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