the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
