school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
