i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
