the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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