She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
