and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
