Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
