If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think i got beer on your cat.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
